Air France, now with flights out of Boston.
Is it Bastille Day already? Don’t tell Mike Pietrus it ain’t. The fourth best Frenchman in all the land scored a fast and efficient 17 points in Orlando’s home-court-stealing 95-90 victory over Boston last night, letting his game make the understatement of the year, “JEREMY RICHARDSON, YOUR SERVICES WILL NOT BE NEEDED TONIGHT!!!”
In war and in Playoffs, the French come to fight. Pietrus didn’t only wear the shooting gloves, he donned the defensive-stopper beret also, helping to hold Pierce & Allen to a combined 30% shooting and contributing a pair of steals and blocks. We all knew Boston had their hands full with Orlando’s size. We didn’t know it would be length on the perimeter that really befuddled them. We definitely didn’t know the long arms of Mickael Pietrus would be their greatest fuddler. Many of us didn’t even know Mickael Pietrus was still in the NBA.
Some nights a player just knows he has it. I am convinced that Pietrus approached Stan Van Gundy before the game and said, as confidently as he has ever said anything, “Put me in, Coach.” SVG looked him in the eyes, felt his passion, and answered, “Whatever.” Last night that indifference paid off.
I attempted to conduct an interview with Pietrus following the game:
What does your performance tonight, coupled with some
of Tony Parker’s showings, say about French basketball?
PIETRUS
It doesn’t say shit about French basketball. It says everything
about me. And fuck Tony Parker. Where TP right now?
BROKEASS
I don’t know, probably at home.
PIETRUS
That’s right. And where’s Diaw?
BROKEASS
I have no idea.
PIETRUS
Some place double-fisting croissants, that’s where.
I’m just playing, Boris! For real, though, that
boy can eat. I AM FRENCH BASKETBALL!!!
Where’s Turiaf? Where’s Petro? Where’s Batum?
BROKEASS
I get it.
PIETRUS
Damn right you get it. And where’s Pietrus? In Boston.
Fucking. Shit. Up. Ces imbéciles ne sont aucune
allumette pour moi!
BROKEASS
I have no idea what you just said.
PIETRUS
I’m on a whole ‘nother level. Where’s Tariq Abdul-Wahad?!
BROKEASS
Please stop doing that.
PIETRUS
No, seriously, where’s Tariq? Dude owes me twenty francs
from back when we called him Olivier. If I see him on the
rue we’ll have words. Put this in your interview: Pietrus
guarantees 50 in Game 2. No further questions. A tout a
l’heure, bitches! Shout out to MC Solaar! Where’s my agent?!
Well, that went poorly.
Posted by BA Brokeass
A FENNIS FOR DEMBO 