Archive for the ‘BA Brokeass’ Category

Brokeass video! For no goddamn reason!

Posted by BA Brokeass.

Read Full Post »

Straight outta the quaint suburban hood called Cleveland…

And James Johnson was never heard from again.

But when you look at it from another angle a different story is revealed.

And James Johnson was never heard from before. You can’t dunk on what never was.

James "Fat Crackhead" Johnson hopes this dunk will earn him a new nickname.

Fat crackhead.

Posted by BA Brokeass.

Read Full Post »

Remember when I told you I’d deliver a brand new Brokeass video every Friday? Well I lied. It’s been weeks! And just when you finally got over the hurt here I am again with a brand new Brokeass video on a Friday. And I did it to teach you a lesson. That lesson is: People lie. And they let you down. And just when you get over the hurt they go ahead and reopen the wound. And it’s the most important people who burn you the worst; like your father or your lover or BA Brokeass. I would say I’m sorry, but the truth is this needed to happen. Because now you can get over what your father did to you. He’s just a man, and you’re not so perfect yourself. So I guess what I’m trying to say is, you’re welcome. Now here’s the video:

Had to give the NBA some love after I bashed them so hard yesterday. I still got nothin’ but grandmotherly love for you, NBA.

Posted by BA Brokeass.

Read Full Post »

Aaron Brooks catches a nap before the endless NBA Playoffs begin.

Dubbs, you can pretend to care about these grown-ass men if it makes you feel better about aging, but me, I’m clinging to youth until the cops yank me off.

The NCAA Tournament is like when your cool-couple friends get married and everyone eats and gets drunk and dances until the reception hall smells like the dumpster behind a Taco Bell. The only downer at the cool-couple wedding is when your lame-couple friends who are soberly having fun for entirely different reasons have to remind everyone that their upcoming wedding will be just as much fun as this one. Everyone disingenuously agrees and begins hoping for a conflicting funeral or Bris that weekend. The lame-couple wedding is the NBA Playoffs.

Now I’m not saying the NBA should invoke a single-elimination, field of 64 tournament like college has. Mostly because there aren’t 64 teams in the league, which means non-NBA teams would have to be included like Benetton Treviso or the Rio Grande Valley Vipers or the New Jersey Nets. And no one wants to see that.

I’m not sure what I think the NBA should do differently, I just know the NCAA Tournament is better. Every year one NBA team’s city gets to declare, “We won!” at the end of the NBA Playoffs. Meanwhile, one million bracket champions get to declare, “I won!” at the end of the NCAA Tournament. It all sunk in while watching the final few seconds tick off the clock in West Virginia’s second round victory over Missouri on Sunday, gasping at every guffaw and heralding every heroic from “my team,” the victorious Mountaineers. I don’t care about West Virginia. I definitely done care about Missouri. Hell, I often forget they are states let alone colleges.  And yet there I was offering the focus of a doting parent to a game between two teams that don’t matter. Why? Because it affected my bracket, and the NCAA Tournament, more than any other playoffs, is about me rooting for me.

By the way, my bracket is kicking ass, Dubbs. You should root for me, too.

Look, I know there’s something to be said for a classic seven-game slugout between great, evenly-matched teams. But I’m not the Brokeass to say it. To me, a seven-game series is just a six-game preview for the one game I wanna see. Name the greatest Game 3 in history. You can’t. The greatest Game 3 ever was sheer agony, like every other Game 3. The NCAA knows the key to keeping my attention is to leave me wanting more. NBA Playoffs, girl, you text too much.

West Virginia, I could not be happier over your victory. Now kindly please lose.

Posted by BA Brokeass

Read Full Post »

Let’s be honest:  The last year or so has been rough for Michigan sports fans.  Between the rapid decline of the Pistons, the bottom falling out of the University of Michigan football program, the struggle to return to pre-sanctions relevance for the UMich basketball team, the Tigers’ woes, the Red Wings losing the Cup, and the continued shitification of the Lions, there hasn’t been a lot to cheer about.

But during Friday’s Big Ten Tournament match-up between Michigan and Ohio State, when Manny Harris hit a clutch shot to put the Wolverines up two with 2 seconds left, a little ray of light poked through the storm clouds.  Maybe, just maybe, we thought.  Eh, we should’ve known better.  And honestly, we’ve had enough:

See you at the stitch n’ bitch, lil’ homies!

Posted by MC Yarn & DJ Thimble

Read Full Post »

You mean this man doesn't take his craft seriously?

This is what it means to take the high road in the NBA:

Josh Howard, following his trade from Dallas to Washington, announced he desires to “stick it to Dallas” for trading him away. Mark Cuban, our high-road-traveler, outwardly responded:

I wish Josh nothing but the best.″

Then the Mavericks leaked information that Howard likes to get his drink on before games. And not only that, there’s a spot in DC that makes him particularly thirsty. Just ’cause you take the high road doesn’t mean you can’t do some low slouching, eh Mavs?!

It's not like JH is the only one.

Posted by BA Brokeass.

Read Full Post »

Russell Westbrook, literally about to dunk in a dude's face.

Thing about Brokeass is, he’s a mu’fuckin’ renaissance man. Like Leonardo da Vinci or Danny Devito in that movie. He ain’t just a wordsmith, Kid’s got a multitude of skills, and just because he is me doesn’t mean he . . . I . . . .We . . . Damn, I’m starting to confuse myself.

Let’s stop this charade (or as I call it, Sherrod). I’ve been making basketball videos lately and I’m gonna keep making them and you’re gonna watch them and keep watching them every Friday at this very location until I tell you it’s alright to stop. Sounds like a decent plan? It’s at least better than Sacramento’s. Oh wait, my bad, I forgot they got Jarred Jeffries. Problems solved, Sacto.

Here’s the first of many Friday videos to come. It’s OKC’s Russell Westbrook faking not even a lick of the funk on some extremely nasty dunks. Let’s do this y’all! GET PUMPED!

Doesn’t that make you wanna go out and fight dudes? Do it! You have my permission! Videos By Brokeass y’all! Re-Tweet that shit!

Posted by BA Brokeass.

Read Full Post »

Older Posts »