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Posts Tagged ‘Rasheed Wallace’

KG throws some 'bows (and shits his pants???).

At the end of Boston’s  Game 1 victory over the Heat on Saturday, Kevin Garnett was ejected for throwing an elbow at Quentin Richardson during a scrum after Paul Pierce fell to the ground with a shoulder stinger.

KG claimed that Q-Rich was standing over Pierce and he was just trying to clear some room for Paul.

Q-Rich saw things a bit differently:

“I was trying to get over there to take the ball out of bounds and [Garnett] started to talk to me, so I talked back. I don’t have any business talking to him, he was on the ground crying. I don’t know what was going on, two actresses over there, that’s what they are.”

‘Two actresses’!!!  I think I just fell in love with Quentin Richardson.  The kind of love born out of a sense of deep respect between two men.

Quentin (my new life partner) wasn’t finished though.  Speak on, Q!:

“I just get surprised by people’s actions when I know them better than that. They’re not those characters they portray. They’re not who they say they are, Garnett and Pierce, they’re good basketball players and that’s about it.

“I said to Jermaine, he’s OK because I knew nobody touched him,” explained Richardson. “Is he taking another break like he does so many times? Sometimes he falls like he’s about to be out for the season and then he gets right up, that’s all I said.

“I don’t like them, and they know it.”

Good stuff.  Welcome back, Playoffs.

The league suspended Kevin Garnett one game for the elbow.  But I’m sure Rasheed Wallace will pick up the slack.

Vodpod videos no longer available.

Or not.

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Nick Young smells it.

I know everybody’s all wrapped up in March Madness right now.  I get it.  Believe me, I like watching goofy white guys from schools I’ve never heard of located in towns I don’t believe exist jack up three pointers for forty minutes as much as the next guy.  And there’s nothing quite like the thrill of watching a better team with far superior athletes lose to a team that practices against stalks of corn because their coach had a massive brain fart and forgot about the existence of the full-court press.  Hooray.  But let’s talk about the NBA, where the most skilled professionals in the world make their home.  You know, players like Andray Blatche (whoops, there goes my argument!).

Blatche, he of the forever-looming upside, has been the lone bright spot in the Washington Wizards’ season from hell, averaging 23 points and 9 boards, while shooting about 50%, since the All-Star break.  It seemed like he was finally coming into his own.  But Tuesday night, while the Wizards were on their way to losing their 12th consecutive game, Blatche was pulled for missing a defensive assignment and afterwards refused to go back in the game, supposedly telling the coaches “he just didn’t want to play.”

Coach Flip Saunders (ugh) said it was “the most disappointed I’ve ever been in 15 years with a player.”

This is coming from a guy who coached Rasheed Wallace AND the Minnesota Timberwolves.  This man once started a backcourt of Sam Cassell and Latrell Sprewell.  He coached Stephon Marbury.  These guys are paragons of disappointment. Also, um… Flip Saunders had two players suspended for the rest of this season for GUNPLAY!  You would think that would be at least the most disappointed he’d been in a player this year.  But no, Andray Blatche is apparently more disappointing.  Congrats Andray!  You done did it!  Welcome to the All-Headcase Team!  You already know the team’s coach – it’s Flip Saunders!  (Seriously, outside of Kevin Garnett and Chauncey Billups, Saunders has basically made a career out of coaching – or not coaching, if you prefer – headcases.)

I think the worst part of this story is being forced to confront the fact that Flip Saunders has been an NBA coach for 15 years.  Jesus Christ, that shit is enough to make me want to watch college basketball.  Just kidding, guys!  I’ve got the fever too!  Just don’t forget, after March Madness comes April Sadness!  Whatever the fuck that means!

BBBBLLATTTTCHHHE!!

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Those days are gone forever. I should just let them go...

Fanhouse has a piece up about Jerry Stackhouse trying to play his way into shape and a meaningful role for the Milwaukee Bucks this season after missing almost the entirety of last season.  It’s basically about how this is Stackhouse’s last shot and he’s trying to make the case that he can still contribute before retiring.  I’m reading through it and I come to the following passage:

There are only six players still playing from that ’95 Draft [other than Stackhouse], and one of them is Milwaukee’s backup center Kurt Thomas. The only other guard still playing is Michael Finley in San Antonio. The others are Kevin Garnett, Rasheed Wallace, Antonio McDyess and Joe Smith.

This makes me feel really old.  Granted, all of these guys are older than me.  But not by that much. I used to watch all of them play college ball.  Besides KG, obviously.  And Kurt Thomas – I didn’t take in very many Texas Christian games, and watching Kurt Thomas play makes me feel like I just ate a bunch of turkey and sat down in my favorite easy chair in front of a roaring fire.  But I digress…

I remember watching Michigan in Juwan Howard’s last season beat Maryland and Joe Smith in the tournament.  It was a huge deal because all everyone was talking about at that point was Joe Smith. Remember when Stackhouse first came in the league and he was mouthing off about how the NBA was easy for him and he could handle Michael Jordan, then Jordan dropped 48 on him?  And remember when Sheed was that brash young player who couldn’t keep his mouth shut?  Now he’s that brash old player who can’t keep his mouth shut.  When did these guys get old?  I feel like these guys are my children and they’re suddenly all grown up.  My big, beautiful, black children. Is that racist?  All I’m saying is I feel a sense of ownership over these guys.  Wait, this isn’t coming out right…

All I’m saying is that it’s weird to consider having watched these guys from their pre-NBA days all the way through to their veteran-on-the-verge-of-retirement days.

Sorry if this post is depressing.  Here, let me make it up to you…

GREG ODEN’S PENIS!

There.  Better?  I thought so.

Those are just like the BOSS jeans you used to wear!

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I hate to see you go, but I love to watch you leave.

Hi!

What’d we miss?

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Go gentle into that good night, boys.

Go gentle into that good night, boys.

After all the accompanying anger and frustration during this season (and the last couple), the predominant emotion I feel at the end of it all is sadness. I’m sad and tired (kind of like Sheed).

There are several reasons its over, some complex, some as simple as guys getting old and windows closing. But the reason that this era came to a close at this exact moment in time, the reason it had to end now, is due to something intangible that no is talking about: Regret. This team can no longer support itself under the crushing weight of its own regret.

The Darko Milicic debacle. The Malice at the Palace. The failure to repeat as Champs after getting so close. The messy divorce from Larry Brown. Flaming out against the Heat in 2006. Losing to a lesser team in the Cavs in 2007. The weight from all this regret was too much for their collective shoulders. There’s no way to live all that down.

Remember when the Pistons were the team that never gave up? When their record in games when other teams were trying to close them out was impeccable? For the last couple seasons, they’ve been the team that doesn’t bother to show up to close-out games. They folded early in game 6 in Cleveland a couple years ago. They gave up in a winnable Game 6 of the Boston series last year, a game in which they held the lead in the fourth quarter. I remember watching and feeling like they were rolling over right before my eyes. And this year they didn’t even bother to show up for an entire playoff series. When a team starts giving up, there’s no road to return. It’s over.

It was a great run while it lasted. Pistons fans should be grateful. For a while there we had a very likable team, with no egos, that played hard, and played ‘the right way’ and it was a beautiful thing to behold. But the biggest holdover from this era will be the missed opportunities, the close calls and the regret. They should have accomplished more. Instead, their 2004 title will stand as an aberration, which isn’t to say that they didn’t earn it or deserve it – they did. But it is the exception to the rule that you need superstars to win an NBA title. If the Pistons had won more than one championship, they could’ve called that rule into question. Now, all we’re left to do is enjoy our asterisk. That’s not a slam – it’s a great, big, shining asterisk, one a fan can point to with pride.

Over the coming weeks we’ll be talking about what’s next. But for now, let’s mourn and think of better days.

ben_rasheed_wallace2

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What up, boo?  Straight mean-mugging it over here.

Straight mean-mugging it.

Sitting out for a year and just watching the league and watching how people do things, I think I became even more entrenched in the belief that how I did things was the right way. You become even more confident and more entrenched.” — Phillip ‘Flip’ Saunders.

Flip’s takin’ shots!

Guard your grill, Joe D! Duck, Sheed!

Hold your head, Michael Curry!

Flip continued: “I’m chillin’ at the crib off Lake Minnetonka, Keillor on the radio and ESPN2 on the LCD – no plasma burn-in, dudes – and I see Mike Curry coaching my squad, looking like caramel is gonna come oozing out his ears any second. This is who they 86-ed me for? Cuz he was in a locker-room once? Well it takes more than being on Grant Hill’s practice squad to get on my level. I got mad-complicated offensive schemes, son! My playbook is three-hundred pages long! Curry’s playbook is written in crayon on the back of a Denny’s menu. Ask Sheed if he’s happy now. Matter of fact, tell Sheed he don’t watch his ass, I’m a trade for him and have him running pick-and-pops with Gil Arenas all game – he ain’t never gonna see that ball. Tell him Etan got some poetry he wants to read him. I gotta go – Chauncey’s coming over later and we’re gonna laugh about shit.”

"I will have my revenge.  Sheed, are you listening to me?"

"I will have my revenge! Sheed, are you listening to me? Sheed?"

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Go West, young man, and grow up with the country. It’s time for our Western Conference picks!

(1) LOS ANGELES LAKERS VS. (8) UTAH JAZZ

"Hey, Kobe! Tickle, tickle."

"Ronnie, I said tweak it and blow on it, not palm it!"

BROKEASS: Utah didn’t pick the best time to start playing their worst basketball of the season, but they should be better and I think they will be better. The Lakers clearly are better. In virtually every way. That being said, I think the Jazz are being prematurely written-off. Deron Williams is going to annihilate Derek Fisher and Utah is historically brutal for visiting teams. But those factors will only serve to delay the inevitable. Lakers in 6.

DUBBS: Utah has a lot of talent. And a good coach. And the most awful fans in the League. But they’ve been sucking it lately. And the Lakers are too good – easily the best in the West. Lakers in 4.

BROKEASS: Utah has some chemistry issues, but the playoffs can often resolve that. Ask Rasheed Wallace. Besides, Boozer, Memo, and Millsap need to have strong showings if they hope to earn big free agent paychecks. The Lakers are cocky right now, as the result of too many people declaring them de facto Champions of the West. I think they’re going to be tested.

DUBBS: The Lakers are too deep, too versatile, too good and too Kobe. The Lakers may be tested, but it won’t be by this mötley crüe. A team is not going to have an epiphany and suddenly find themselves while playing a juggernaut like the Lakers. They are going to suddenly find themselves getting crushed. And, as Cleveland found out, if you have to rely on Carlos Boozer, you’re in trouble.

BROKEASS: How dare you? Carlos Boozer is the type of guy you trust with your kids.

(2) DENVER NUGGETS VS. (7) NEW ORLEANS HORNETS

"James, I can feel the baby kicking!"

"James, I can feel the baby kicking!"

DUBBS: Denver can be an up-and-down team. But Chauncey will give them the stability they need in the playoffs. Chris Paul will certainly pose a lot of problems for him but he won’t abuse Le Chaunce the way he did J-Kidd in their matchup last playoffs. And Billups is too big for Paul on the offensive end. He should be able to get what he needs. Mostly, the Hornets are just way too thin. Denver in 5.

BROKEASS: Sure, Mr. Big Shot is nice, but what about Big Game James Posey? I think this series goes to 7 because, while neither team floors me, I like the clutchness of both. CP3 will be singularly good enough to stretch it, but not win it. Carmelo at the buzzer, Denver in 7.

DUBBS: Wow, you’re calling it down to the buzzer!? Neck tattoo to Neck tattoo. I like it. I don’t see it, but I like it. Also, Big Game James has to be the least-maintained nickname since Mr. Big Shot. Carmelo Anthony will roll right over him.

BROKEASS: Fine, forget about the dagger-thrower James Posey. Get ready for the epic resurgence of Tyson Chandler!

DUBBS: They sent Chandler to the OKC Thunder and the Thunder sent him back! They have like three guys on that team. Nothing but roster spots. And they returned his ass! One last reason Denver will win: The Birdman is gonna fly!

(3) SAN ANTONIO SPURS VS. (6) DALLAS MAVERICKS

Who will survive the standing-8 count.

Who will survive the standing-8 count?

BROKEASS: This is one of those series where home-court doesn’t matter. And not just because the teams play down the road from each other. No two teams understand each other better than the Spurs and Mavs and I expect every game to be tightly contested. This battle won’t be as epic as previous ones, but it stands to be one of the better match-ups in a pretty weak crop of first-round pairings. In the end, I am picking San Antonio, because they just don’t know how to lose this early. Plus, my knees creak when I think about what Tony Parker is going to do to J-Kidd. Spurs in 7.

DUBBS: The Mavs are playing well. Dirk is Dirk. Jason Terry is instant offense off the bench. Yes, TP will undoubtedly torch Jason Kidd. But Carlisle has done a good job with Kidd this season. He’s hidden him well enough on D and worked him less on O, so he’s actually shooting the best he has in forever. And Jason Kidd is a lot of things but choke artist isn’t one of them. Ginobli is out. The Spurs ain’t winning without their Big Three. The Mavs have too much firepower. Mavs in 7.

BROKEASS: Dirk is Dirk, yes, for better and worse. Meanwhile, Timmy D is always Timmy D and that equals money in the bank. Rick Carlisle may be able to hide Kidd’s weaknesses, but not his own. Pop will straight-up father him. If these games stay close, and you know they will, are you betting the farm (ranch?) on the provens or the dis-provens? If Dallas was a youthful, athletic team I might pick them against the step-slower Spurs. But Dallas equals San Antonio in decrepitude. They expended too much fuel fighting for that 6 spot, and a half-tank of gas won’t get them out of San Antonio.

DUBBS: First of all, Dallas has beaten San Antonio before. Second, Timmy D ain’t always Timmy D. He’s aging. And without Manu there to extend and break down the defense, Dallas can key in on Duncan a lot more. Are Parker and Duncan gonna run pick-and-rolls every single play? The Spurs have two guys. That’s it. Are you really going to take Tim Duncan, Tony Parker and Gregg Popovich’s pre-season beard against Dirk, Jason Terry, Jason Kidd, Josh Howard and a serviceable bench? And while I would never argue that Rick Carlisle is as good a coach as Popovich, he’s certainly a better coach than Avery Johnson. Everyone keeps saying you’ve gotta pick the Spurs until they lose. Well the Spurs have lost. Their supporting cast, like Manu’s hair, gets thinner every year. (The NBA: Where Zing! Happens.) Until they inject some young blood into that squad to support their Big Three, it’s over.

BROKEASS: You have no idea what Matt Bonner is capable of.

(4) PORTLAND TRAILBLAZERS VS. (5) HOUSTON ROCKETS

Fighting in party stores, fighting in the paint.

Big Tree Fall Hard.

DUBBS: I really like Portland. They’re a gutsy young squad, with one of my favorite players in the NBA (Brandon Roy), a guy I really want to see succeed (Greg Oden), and a good, tough coach. But… Houston is a really good defensive team. Ron Artest and Shane Battier are gonna eat these young boys’ lunches. The two-headed power forward beast of Luis Scola and Carl Landry will swallow LaMarcus Aldridge up. And while Yao has trouble against smaller, more agile big men like Amare, he’s gonna play really well against Oden and Joel Pryzbilla. Plus, Tracy McGrady’s out – another point in Houston’s favor. I want Portland to win. But I’m picking Houston. In 7.

BROKEASS: Yao will be the best big man on the court, but Portland has plenty of bodies to throw at him. Przybilla and Channing Frye are lacking individually, but combine to provide a nice complement of skills and fouls. I predict Greg Oden makes serious noise in these playoffs. Let’s not forget, everyone questioned him in college until the Tournament. Then no one questioned him. Some guys are just built for this shit. I think Yao might be the McGrady to Oden’s Tayshaun Prince. Brandon Roy will have difficult match-ups, but is another guy who seems built for the playoffs. He was born with a veteran’s swagger. This should be a solid series; each team holds a few advantages. Portland secured home-court advantage by winning one more home game than Houston, and that will be the same difference in this series. I want Portland to win too…And they will. Blazers in 7.

DUBBS: If Greg Oden were “just built for this shit,” he wouldn’t keep breaking down. Oden is like the reverse Benjamin Button. The matchup between him and Yao is the immobile object vs. the unmoving force. Who will shatter into a thousand pieces first? Seriously, those dudes might break each other. They’re gonna finish the series playing wheelchair ball. Also, nice 2003 Tayshaun vs. McGrady reference. Way to broaden our readership.

BROKEASS: I thought 2003 was relevant in this series, since it was the last time Houston had a point guard. Seriously, who is their PG? Aaron Brooks? Kyle Lowry? Steve Blake is going to own those punks…And that line has never been written ever! This Houston group has never made it out of the first round for good reason: They are always a piece or two short. This year is no different. Of course, if Ron-Ron shows up in rare form (either as a player or an asshole), all bets are off. But I can’t wager on a team with so many question marks.

DUBBS: If Aaron Brooks is given a place at the table, he will eat! It only makes sense that Houston would finally get out of the first round without McGrady. It’ll allow his spiral of depression to continue to run its course. And too much is being made of Portland as the only team in the West that can challenge the Lakers. They haven’t even been in the playoffs since they were the Jailblazers. Jumps like that don’t happen in the NBA. It’s more of a steady progression. And Houston is ready to take that next step.

That’s it for the First Round. Check back throughout the playoffs for more tomfoolery.

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