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Posts Tagged ‘Juwan Howard’

Old bones collide.

The Playoffs are here and the high-seeded Phoenix Suns are losing to a lower-seeded team.  Gee, what a surprise.

The 3rd seed Suns dropped their first game at home against the 6th seed Blazers who are missing their best player in Brandon Roy, not to mention Greg Oden, Joel Pryzbilla, Bill Walton and Jerome Kersey.

Why do I feel like I’ve seen this movie before?  The Suns have a great season and show up in the Playoffs only to have their asses handed to them by a team that plays defense.

And without the injured Robin Lopez, the Suns are small and soft.  Every time the broadcast cut to their bench, I kept wondering why assistant coaches Bill Cartwright and Dan Majerle didn’t just suit up and get in the game.  They’re both around the same age as Juwan Howard and Grant Hill, aren’t they?

Steve Nash is a great, Hall Of Fame player and he has had a fantastic, eye-opening season, but watching him play defense is like watching your grandparents fuck:  it’s disgusting, you worry someone’s going to get hurt, and you can’t help but feel like you could do it better.

Thank you… Goodnight!

Posted by LA Dubbs

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Those days are gone forever. I should just let them go...

Fanhouse has a piece up about Jerry Stackhouse trying to play his way into shape and a meaningful role for the Milwaukee Bucks this season after missing almost the entirety of last season.  It’s basically about how this is Stackhouse’s last shot and he’s trying to make the case that he can still contribute before retiring.  I’m reading through it and I come to the following passage:

There are only six players still playing from that ’95 Draft [other than Stackhouse], and one of them is Milwaukee’s backup center Kurt Thomas. The only other guard still playing is Michael Finley in San Antonio. The others are Kevin Garnett, Rasheed Wallace, Antonio McDyess and Joe Smith.

This makes me feel really old.  Granted, all of these guys are older than me.  But not by that much. I used to watch all of them play college ball.  Besides KG, obviously.  And Kurt Thomas – I didn’t take in very many Texas Christian games, and watching Kurt Thomas play makes me feel like I just ate a bunch of turkey and sat down in my favorite easy chair in front of a roaring fire.  But I digress…

I remember watching Michigan in Juwan Howard’s last season beat Maryland and Joe Smith in the tournament.  It was a huge deal because all everyone was talking about at that point was Joe Smith. Remember when Stackhouse first came in the league and he was mouthing off about how the NBA was easy for him and he could handle Michael Jordan, then Jordan dropped 48 on him?  And remember when Sheed was that brash young player who couldn’t keep his mouth shut?  Now he’s that brash old player who can’t keep his mouth shut.  When did these guys get old?  I feel like these guys are my children and they’re suddenly all grown up.  My big, beautiful, black children. Is that racist?  All I’m saying is I feel a sense of ownership over these guys.  Wait, this isn’t coming out right…

All I’m saying is that it’s weird to consider having watched these guys from their pre-NBA days all the way through to their veteran-on-the-verge-of-retirement days.

Sorry if this post is depressing.  Here, let me make it up to you…

GREG ODEN’S PENIS!

There.  Better?  I thought so.

Those are just like the BOSS jeans you used to wear!

Posted by LA Dubbs

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Jalen rocks the Burt Reynolds in Cosmo pose.  Jimmy King doesn't mind.

Jalen rocks the Burt Reynolds in Cosmo pose. Jimmy King doesn't mind.

Fab Five To Reunite At Final Four

What are these fools getting together to commemorate? Baggy shorts?

Those in the know recognize that the phantom timeout against UNC was actually Tolbert or Talley’s fault (I can’t keep those two straight – they were like the Dajaun Wagner/Deshawn Stevenson of their day, before Deshawn copped the billygoat beard & a feud with Bron-bron and Dajaun’s body exploded). But still…

How awkward is this little meet-up? All their accomplishments (uhhh…) are wiped out because one of them took money. And they have to meet at a casino because the NCAA DOESN’T ACKNOWLEDGE THEIR EXISTENCE.

Also, three of the dudes are rich and famous (I see you Juwan!) and two are most likely broke as fuck. That’s gotta be uncomfortable. And they’ve got to spend the entire time looking over their shoulders for Eric Riley to swoop down on them like some old-ass seven foot ninja (because you know he’s still out for blood – that was supposed to be his team).

Webber got in trouble for receiving hundreds of thousands of dollars. King and Jackson got in trouble for receiving free beers from a corner store. Seems appropriate now.

I know that the Fab Five get all the credit for bringing hip hop to the court but wasn’t it the UNLV Runnin’ Rebs that opened that door for them? Stacey Augmon D-ing up with those cracked-out eyes, Anderson Hunt kicking it with professional bookmakers, Greg Anthony smashing his jaw face first on the hardwood, David Butler… doing David Butler type stuff… and that cross-dressing guy.

And UNLV sealed the deal. Won the title game by 30, went undefeated the next year (UNDEFEATED!) before succumbing in the title game to the same Duke squad they had trounced the year before. Well, we all know you never beat Bobby Hurley twice. Unless you’re a pickup truck. In which case, you only need the one time and then no mas.

Listen UMich fans, we all loved the high-top fades and the baggy shorts and going to the title game with five freshman starting, then doing it again the following year with the same guys (something that will most likely never happen again). But it’s over. It’s way past time to move on. Does anybody really want to read the attendant weepy-vagina Mitch Albom column that’s inevitably going to come with this reunion?

Nobody wants that.

Not even Ray Jackson, and that dude is desperate for some shine.

Nope.  Still no banners.

Nope. Still no banners.

Posted by LA Dubbs

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