Posts Tagged ‘Javaris Crittenton’

Something tells me those aren't prescription glasses.

The other shoe has dropped for fans of the Washington Wizards (just go with it).  Javaris Crittenton has been suspended for the remainder of the NBA season by commissioner David Stern for an altercation with a teammate named Gilbert Arenas in which the two brandished firearms in the Wizards locker room.

Reached for comment about how he would address the loss of Crittenton, his 5 point, 2 assist, half-a-steal man, Coach Flip Saunders had this to say:  “We’re gonna run some more zone.”

Brilliant move, coach. As always.

Posted by LA Dubbs

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Little Robbie decided to forego preschool and enter the NBA draft.

Little Robbie decided to leave preschool early and enter the NBA draft.

When Blake Griffin and Hasheem Thabeet declared their eligibility for the upcoming NBA Draft, it was sort of like Winter declaring it’s cold in February. No shit. Those two are the reasons a draft is even being held. When DeJuan Blair joined them I wasn’t surprised either. Clearly, he is a fully-developed man. He is a fully-developed two men. Shawn Taggart of Memphis is also eligible, though, what is he, like a tenth-year sophomore? He’s that dude yelling “You can’t fire me ’cause I quit!” as security tosses him from the building. You know who else is eligible for the Draft? Everyone else who doesn’t go to college anymore.

The obvious candidates have thrown their hats in the ring. Here is where things get interesting. Every year a handful of talented but unseasoned freshmen “stick with the plan” and forego remaining eligibility to enter the draft once their minimum requirement is fulfilled. These youngsters have a success ratio comparable to drunk people trying to jump over things. For every Carmelo Anthony there are a dozen Javaris Crittentons. Reading that name resulted in one of two responses: Either, “Who is Javaris Crittenton?” or, “Oh yeaaaaaah, Javaris Crittenton!” No one, and I mean no one, finished that sentence and said, “Not Javaris!”

That dude is so well-traveled I am struggling to choose between nicknaming him “The Stewardess” or “Chauncey Billups”. You make the call. Oh, right, you don’t know who he is.

Several examples have already identified themselves this year. PG Jrue Holiday is leaving UCLA after one year despite a season playing marginal basketball in a marginal conference. Tyreke Evans is bolting Memphis even though his lack of a jumper and poor shot selection will probably annoy Larry Brown or some such coach into an unnecessary aneurysm. Do you see what I’m saying? It’s not healthy to send these kids to the Majors!

Those are the small-fries, let’s not forget the Biggie size. 7-foot BJ Mullins of Ohio State can look forward to several years of consistent embarrassment when he enters the League this Spring. Though I’m sure he is used to that after failing to win the starting center position on a team that didn’t have a center. That’s exactly what the NBA is looking for: Guys who aren’t good enough to fill gaping holes!

I want to spend my own money to send DeJuan Wagner and Stromile Swift to all these kids’ houses for wake-up calls.

Georgetown’s Greg Monroe is the first sensible star to announce he is returning for his sophomore season. Good for him, he wasn’t that great this year. In a year or two he will probably be phenomenal. And I’m sure Tyler Hansborough is petitioning to use some of these departing players’ eligibilities like they are rollover minutes. Nice try, Ty-Ty. Now get the fuck out of college basketball!

We learned several years ago that drafting on potential doesn’t work. Carmelo Anthony had tremendous upside, but he was also just tremendous. The NBA is for players ready to take the next step, but for too many of them that next step is backwards. No one has time to teach these kids the basics, certainly not while also paying them millions of guaranteed dollars.

Good today is better than perfect tomorrow. There is no future in professional sports; only now. When you make your opening statement unprepared you just make a bad and lasting first impression. Stay in college, kids. Get an education. Even if it is only in basketball.

BJ Mullins doing what he does best: Look confused

BJ Mullins doing the thing he does best: Look confused

Posted by BA Brokeass.

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