Archive for May 8th, 2009

"I love you, dawg." "I love you too, dawg.  Let's get married."

"I love you, dawg." "I love you too, dawg. Let's get married."

The NBA suspended Rafer Alston one game for his slapfight with Eddie House.  Rafer apologized to his team and Magic fans (who?), but said he’d probably do it again under the same circumstances. “Part of it is being a man,” Alston said.  True that, Rafer.  Slapfighting is one of the key rituals of manhood, along with carb-free diets, manicures, drinking appletinis with the boys and shaving your pubis.   I read all about it in Iron John.

Surprising absolutely no one (aka Magic fans), Stan Van Gundy had a lot to say about the suspension.  I’ll try to boil it down to the fucking cliffnotes:

“The problem that players have, coaches have, and fans have, is they can’t fathom that the slap to the head (by Alston), which was minor, was a one game suspension. And what Rondo did to Brad Miler was nothing.  David Stern says the league can’t take the chance injury, but I’d say the Rondo-Miller play had a lot greater chance of injury than what Rafer did to House.”

What SVG is saying about the Rondo-Brad Miller play is true.  Rondo probably should have been suspended.  But that play has absolutely nothing to do with the Rafer Alston-Eddie House incident.  The Rondo blow, although excessive, came about organically during the course of a basketball play; Rondo fouled Brad Miller to keep him from scoring and went a bit overboard.  It happens.  But slapping guys in the backs of their heads is outside of what normally takes place during a basketball game.  Hard fouls are part of basketball.  Slapfighting is not.  Rafer was essentially suspended for ‘conduct unbecoming an NBA player.’  And Van Gundy knows this.  So he should shut up, as usual.

Eddie House had this to say about the suspension: “I think it’s rightfully deserved. A play like that has no place in basketball. It’s a cowardly move like that, you hit somebody in the back of the head. It would be different if I was facing him, but he did it when I was turned away from him. The league felt it was right. I felt it was justified.

Oh my god.  I just agreed with Eddie House.

Posted by LA Dubbs

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NBA breathes a sigh of relief.

(Hat-tip to Fanhouse.)

Posted by LA Dubbs

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Calling what Atlanta did yesterday ‘basketball’ is unfair to everyone who loves the sport. If they continue to not show up we will continue to not write about them. The only thing more embarrassing than their play so far is the fact it’s coming against these dudes:

These guys won't let Lebron out of their site.

Choosing a joke is like picking your favorite child.

I could spend all day talking about this picture. I won’t. Instead, I’ll just list my favorite parts.

  1. Mo Williams’ face. He cannot figure out what’s going on! It’s not possible to form that expression AND be a smart human being. Impossible. He looks like a dog seeing its own reflection.
  2. Big Z’s beyond retarded face. This would not make the list if Big Z was actually retarded.
  3. Tarance Kinsey actually trying to look hard while agreeing to this photo op. As if Delonte was like, “T-Kins let’s take this picture of us all close in front of Lebron’s MVP.” And Kinsey was like, “Hell yeah. That’ll be hard.”
  4. Delonte West. Everything he is doing. Leaning in close with Kinsey. Taking the pic with his own iPhone from an impossible angle so that the resulting photo probably includes neither him nor the trophy. Being Delonte West. Just everything.
  5. That Ben Wallace isn’t in it. If he rides these clowns to a second title, good for him. But thank God you never see him in any of these friendship circles.

This series picks up in Atlanta this weekend. For Cleveland, it will feel a bit like going on a business trip and having the big meeting canceled. Does anyone still think this wimpy war needs to be waged on a basketball court? Sometimes a seven-game series just seems cruel.

Posted by BA Brokeass

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