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Archive for May 1st, 2009

After Houston disposed of the Blazers in round one, Ron Artest sat down with the press to explain why Tracy McGrady is a puss (read between the lines) and how going into the crowd is different these days:

Vodpod videos no longer available.

I love it! Ron don’t give a shit about first round victories. He’s in this for something bigger. Which is probably why they got out of the first round finally. They’ve needed this attitude in Houston for a long time.

If you’ve been paying attention to this blog, you’ve probably seen this day on the horizon. But it has arrived. We here at AF4D are officially on the Houston Rockets bandwagon and we are riding it all the way to Upset Village. Bring on Kobe. Bring on Lebron.

You heard of us. Official Queensbridge murderers.

Best. Picture. Ever.

Best. Picture. Ever.

Posted by LA Dubbs

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Is it Easter yet?

"Here today, goo tomorrow."

Joe Dumars announced Wednesday that Michael Curry (aka the poor man’s Vinny Del Negro) would return next season as coach of the Detroit Pistons. Why do I have a sudden craving for a Cadbury Creme Egg? Weird.

Michael Curry is Dumars’ guy. Dumars brought him in to change the culture of apathy and ‘flip-switching’ and it takes more than a year to do that, especially with the holdover of stubborn veterans. And Dumars threw him a hell of a curveball at the start of the season. He let his brand new coach without any head coaching experience make it all the way through training camp before dealing the heart and leader of the team, Chauncey Billups, for Allen Iverson, a player who gave even coaching legend Larry Brown fits for years. Dumars put Curry in a position to fail and he knows it. So Curry gets at least another season to prove that he can fail on his own, without Dumars’ help.

It’s a move that surprised no one. But it’s the wrong move. Hiring Michael Curry in the first place was a mistake. Curry might have made sense as a coach for this mythical ‘team that can coach itself’ we always heard about with the Pistons. But that team only ever existed in the dreamscape of Ben Wallace’s minds-eye.

Quick Facts

So, how do people eat their Creme Egg?

  • 53% of people bite off the top, lick out the ‘creme’ then eat the chocolate
  • 20% just bite straight through
  • 16% use their finger to scoop out the ‘creme’

Use their finger to scoop out the creme? That’s disgusting. Anyway, back to what I was saying:

Curry was undoubtedly handed a tough situation. But all he did was make it worse. He was handed lemons, and he turned them into shit. He made shit-ade. They had an atrocious record in Sunday games, as if they were unprepared to play. They developed a habit of losing leads and falling apart in the 4th quarter. He was indecisive, still fucking with his rotations mere games before the end of the season. And he botched the benchings of both Iverson and Hamilton, taking them out of the starting lineups upon their return from injury – a coaching no-no. Rumor has it that Rip hasn’t been on speaking terms with Curry since the benching, making things even tougher heading into next year (assuming Rip is even here next year).

Curry is not going to get the job done. The Pistons need a coach with more experience. They need a coach who can turn them back into a tough, scrappy squad. Someone who will get the fans excited and strike fear into the hearts of opposing teams. They need this man:

laimbeer_1990_320

Ain’t nobody thinking of candy when they look at this dude.

Posted by LA Dubbs

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After three more overtime periods last night, Boston vs. Chicago will officially be the longest series in Playoffs history. Game 6 might have gone even longer if it wasn’t for this play:

Vodpod videos no longer available.

It was the pivotal moment of the game and possibly the most exciting sequence of the Playoffs so far. But it was also a terrible basketball play. Joakim Noah does everything wrong here, and it totally works out right. First, he leaks out on defense, leaving his man alone in the paint. If Noah doesn’t make the steal, Boston has an easy dunk. Instead of moving the ball to the center of the court via pass, he takes a terrible angle and goes alone. John Salmons is following closely behind for an uncontested lay-up, but that doesn’t stop Big Jo from soaring like a broken-winged eagle from some inexplicable distance and throwing it down. I didn’t think it went in at first. It seemed impossible. Oh, it was possible.

Though I’m being critical of the play now, when it happened, I stood up at the random gay bar where I was watching and high-fived my new friend Hector. It was that kind of play, and that kind of game: I high-fived a gay guy named Hector who couldn’t have differentiated the Celtics from the Bulls from the basketball. It was a wildly emotional moment. And I shared it with Hector.

Those wild emotions eventually settled, though. And after watching highlights of each game in this epic series, I am always reminded: This isn’t good basketball. The beauty of this sport lies in its controlled chaos. This is just chaotic. Doc Rivers has done so little coaching in this series, I am demoting him to Nurse Rivers. Vinny Del Negro has done so little coaching in this series, I am making him repeat his Freshman year.

Will I watch Game 7? Of fucking course. This is the most exciting series of my lifetime. Even Hector will watch that game. I originally started this post attempting to make the statement, “If you aren’t watching the Celtics-Bulls series by now, then you don’t like _____.” I couldn’t come up with an answer. Suspense? Intrigue? Sweaty, muscular men in shorts? Because that’s what Hector liked.

Most importantly, I didn’t feel comfortable inserting the phrase ‘good basketball.’ I’ve had a great time with this series, just like everyone else, but in some ways it makes me long for Stockton and the Mailman. Sure, they ran the same play all day, but they did that because of its perfect design. See, I like good basketball. I love it, even. And I am aware of its presence without ever checking the score. Celtics-Bulls has been exciting, but after each of these games I ask myself: Was that a great game or was I tricked by the scoreboard?

"Seriously, you two do any less we're going to make you buy a ticket."

"Seriously, you two do any less and we're going to make you buy a ticket."

Posted by BA Brokeass

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