Feeds:
Posts
Comments

Archive for April 28th, 2009

If they ever make a movie out of the career of Miami’s James Jones, it will be exactly eleven seconds long. These will be those seconds.

Vodpod videos no longer available.

Rest assured, James Jones will never appear on this site again. Unless he slaps Louis Amundson. But that’s a longshot, James isn’t Lou’s type.

Posted by BA Brokeass

Advertisements

Read Full Post »

This is the most fight they put up all series.

This is the most fight they put up all series.

While we continue to provide uninterrupted coverage of all the playoffs, please allow us a few days of mourning before we address the end of this era in Detroit Pistons history. They sucked serious anus and, right now, it just hurts to feel. Thank you for your understanding during this trying time. Trying, that’s another thing the Pistons didn’t do. Uh-oh. I think I’m going to start crying again.

Think about the Tigers, Brokeass. Think about the Tigers. Okay. I’m good. Nope, I was wrong, they’re coming y’all! The tears are coming! WHY GOD WHY?!?!

Posted by BA Brokeass.

Read Full Post »

Watch him age right before your eyes.

Watch him age right before your eyes.

Before the playoffs, if I told you that the series between the Heat and Hawks would return to Atlanta locked up at two, you probably wouldn’t have batted an eye. But if I told you the same thing, and also that Dwyane Wade has been a poor-man’s version of himself, well maybe then you might experience some eye movement. If not, see a doctor. You could be having a stroke.

Wade has handled volume scoring and controlled the offense (allowing Mario Chalmers to exclusively focus on looking goofy), but the most steady performer has been Jermaine O’Neal. The dominant big in this series, he has averaged almost 17 and 6 for the series, while routinely schooling Atlanta’s Sammy Sosa look-a-like Al Horford. It won’t be enough if D-Wade doesn’t mystify, but it has helped to remove some pressure from the overloaded back of the team’s superstar. JO said, “D-Wade, let me carry a few dudes!” Then a few players jumped on and O’Neal promptly slipped a disc.

Here at AF4D we like to poke fun at JO, because he is ridiculous and brittle and went from 25 to 40 in the span of like a month and a half. But he has stepped up this series. Without him, Miami is seriously over-matched. He is still ridiculous and brittle and unnaturally old. And we will never stop making fun of him. And Miami probably remains overmatched.

So I guess what I’m trying to say is: Fuck Jermaine O’Neal. Wait – I think I had a different message when I started. Oh well. Fuck him.

Posted by BA Brokeass

Read Full Post »