Archive for April 14th, 2009

Flip Saunders giving off the look of confidence.

Flip Saunders giving off the look of confidence.

The Washington Wizards are moments from reaching an agreement with Flip Saunders to become their new head coach, ensuring a commitment on their part to be exactly as good, and no better, than they were before they dumbly hired the last guy.

Washington fired Eddie Jordan because the team couldn’t lock down on defense. So they brought in Ed Tapscott, who proceeded to make Mike Curry look like Mike Woodson. And by that, of course, I mean sort of halfway decent.

If the Wizards land Blake Griffin in this off-season’s draft that team becomes scary on paper. By sucking worse than anyone else, the laws of probability favor them. Think about that top four: Griffin, Arenas, Butler and Jamison. They could hang with anybody. And Flip is just the guy to convert it into an uninspired first round exit.

Isn’t dynamic offense and zero defense EXACTLY Flip’s modus operandi? Why not just bring back Eddie Jordan and pretend this season never happened. Or, if you’re opposed to that, I know where you can get a good deal on a poor-man’s Mike Woodson.

Brendan and Etan have been too depressed to fight.

All season long Brendan and Etan have been too depressed to fight.

Posted by BA Brokeass

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Well that look just about says it all, doesn't it?

Well that look just about says it all, doesn't it?

When the Chicago Bulls (40-41) and the Detroit Pistons (39-41) battled it out for the seventh playoff spot last night, it wasn’t exactly two great forces taking up arms against each other. It was more like the battle of Shitshire vs. Suckton. And the Pistons lost. In true Pistons fashion. They led nearly the entire game and lost late in the fourth quarter. The Pistons have lost twelve games this season that they’ve led going into the fourth quarter. They will now officially have their first losing season in eight years.

This was an interesting game to watch, in as much as these teams were recently rivals, with the Detroit Pistons the top dog in the division and the Bulls the young up-and-coming team set to challenge them. The Bulls fell apart before that challenge ever really took place, and the Pistons have followed suit this year. But what really stood out in this game was how thin the Pistons have become. Losing that AI spot, not even losing AI the player (although that hurts as well), just losing the major contribution of a guy playing starter’s minutes has really hurt the Pistons. The team, which even just last year was considered one of the deeper teams in the league, no longer has any depth. The Bulls, as bad as they are, are bringing guys like Kirk Hinrich and Brad Miller off the bench. We’re playing Kwame Brown and Will Bynum major minutes. And Kwame Brown has played pretty well on the defensive end and rebounds pretty consistently. But he’s a zero on the offensive end. The Piston guards barely even look for him down there. Will Bynum has had some nice games. But he is not gonna get it done. And the body of Amir Johnson has not yet been found, but the search has definitely been called off.

After a great first quarter by both teams, the game turned sloppy, but the Pistons pulled ahead to be up at the half, 56-48. They held onto the lead until late in the fourth quarter, when an impressive three-point play by Derrick Rose tied the game with under a minute to go. The Pistons called timeout. Coming out of the break, the broadcast cut to the Pistons huddle as Michael Curry diagrammed the play. The Pistons players were looking at him as if his head was about to crack open and nougat was going to spill out. They broke the huddle, and inbounded the ball. Rodney Stuckey dribbled around above the elbow for six or seven seconds and then, out of nowhere, pulled up to take a jumper with 17 seconds left on the shot-clock. Derrick Rose blocked the shot. Just an abysmal possession. And you could tell from the way the other Pistons were standing around on the court, they were not ready for Stuckey’s shot. This could not have been the diagrammed play. This play was really a microcosm of the entire season. The Pistons lead the entire game, lose that lead in the fourth quarter, the coach diagrams a terrible play and our young point guard can’t even execute it properly.

All that talk about how they’re gonna come alive in the playoffs? Well, this was as important as a playoff game. If the Pistons won this game and their last game, they had a chance to get as high as the 5 seed, if Miami and Philly were to lose out. Instead, they yet again fell apart at a crucial time and now will face the Cleveland Cavaliers. Who are going to run through them like a buzzsaw through your mother’s asshole. You fuck. Dammit, I’m angry.

They would have been better off not making the playoffs and taking their chances in the lottery. They would have had a mathematical chance at Blake Griffin. Who knows? The Bulls had the slimmest chance last year to get the number one pick and they snagged it, grabbed Derrick Rose and are now on the upswing. Obviously, you never root for your team to lose. But if they’re not gonna try until the end of the season, and still sporadically at that, then fuck it. Shut it down.

Welcome to Loserville: Population, your Detroit Pistons.

Posted by LA Dubbs

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